Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in kelly's LiveJournal:

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Monday, October 20th, 2003
10:31 am	Fallen Heaven bent to take my hand And lead me through the fire Be the long awaited answer To a long and painful fight Truth be told I've tried my best But somewhere along the way I got caught up in all there was to offer And the cost was so much more than I could bear Though I've tried, I've fallen... I have sunk so low I have messed up Better I should know So don't come round here And tell me I told you so... We all begin with good intent Love was raw and young We believed that we could change ourselves THe past could be undone But we carry on our backs the burden Time always reveals The lonely light of morning The wound that would not heal It's the bitter taste of losing everything That I have held so dear. I've fallen... I have sunk so low I have messed up Better I should know So don't come round here And tell me I told you so... Heaven bent to take my hand Nowhere left to turn I'm lost to those I thought were friends To everyone I know Oh they turned their heads embarassed Pretend that they don't see But it's one missed step You'll slip before you know it And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed Though I've tried, I've fallen... I have sunk so low I have messed up Better I should know So don't come round here And tell me I told you so... Current Mood: high Current Music: Sarah McLachan (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 2nd, 2003
5:14 am	Drowning Am I drowning you out? Boasts of defection If everything was up to me, I would be gone by the first sight The first sight of hope I'd be packed up and out on my way. Time has been spread so thin And it's just hours 'fore the day begins. And the things that are keepin you here are not keepin me here. The things that are keepin you here will keep me away. And "you'll be sorry" isn't that what they'll say? Don't follw your heart 'cause it just seems to get in your was. And dont ever leave here and mope at you lesuire and straighten out your crease dear and truth is in a tall beer Are you drowing your fears? Pasts of deception When everything is hazy then everything will be OK When everything is hazy then you wont be sad that you stayed. Time has been spread so thin And it's just hours 'till the day begins. And the things that are keeping you here are not keeping me here. The things that are keeping you here Will keep me away And "you'll be sorry" isn't that what they'll say? Don't follow your heart 'cause it just seems to get in your way And don't ever leave here and mope at your lesuire and straighten out your crease dear, and truth is in a tall beer... Current Mood: sick Current Music: Dashboard Confessional (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 22nd, 2003
6:08 pm	here i sit waiting for you with a cold cup of coffee and a burned cigarette thats falling like ashes slowly falling from me i search my self alone here i sit waiting for you with a suitcase packed and a 8 by 10 that reminds me of ashes its gray and faded i search myself alone cuz thaeres always somebody whos out there waiting for someone to take them away and if i search long enough i might find that someone whos waiting to take me away but not today yeah but not today here i sit waiting for you the suns gone down on a perfect day of waiting for hours please say someone i search myself alone cuz theres always someones out there waiting someone to take them away if i search long enough i mmight that someone whos waiting to take me away ive been waiting for so long ive been waiting cant go on here i sit waiting for you cuz theres always somebody whos out there waiting for someone to take them away and if i search long enough i might find that someone whos waiting to take me away yeah but not today (Comment on this)
Monday, May 19th, 2003
6:15 pm	I hurt myself today to see if I still feel I focus on the pain the only thing thats real the needle tears a hole the old familiar stain try to kill it all away but I remember everything what have I become my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end and you could have it all my empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt I wear this crown of thrones upon my liars chair full of broken thoughts I can not repair beneath the stains of time the feeling dissapears you are someone else I am still right here what have I become my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end and you could have it all my empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt If I could start again a million miles away I would keep myself I would find a way Current Mood: restless (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 13th, 2003
7:54 pm	Downfall Fear in me so deep it gets the best of me In the fear I fall, here it comes face to face with me Here I stand hold back so no one can see I feel these wounds, step down, step down step down. Am I Breaking Down Can I break away Push me away, make me fall Just to see, another side of me Push me away, you can see what I see, the other side of me. Fall back on me, and I’ll be the strength I need, to save me now, just come face to face with me, stay in place you'll be the first to see, me heal these wounds, step down, step down, step down, down I’m not breaking, down can I break away push me away, make me fall, just to see another side of me, push me away you can see, what I see, the other side of me Fall, can I break away push me away, make me fall, just to see another side of me, push me away you can see, what I see, the other side of me No one can see anything on the other side of me I walk, I crawl, loosing everything and waiting for the downfall No one can see everything on the other side of me I walk, I crawl loosing everything on the downfall. Downfall, Fall. Current Mood: high Current Music: Trust company (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 5th, 2003
7:50 pm	Life is But a DREAM I spent all my change on another pack of cigarettes and this feeling I can't ESCAPE I have lost touch my feet aren't on the ground could someone please tell me the color of my eyes esctacy pure esctacy that's all I have in 30 minutes I'll be COMING DOWN again hand me another drink I'm almost there it burns in my stomach finally EVERYTHING makes sense my head is spinning in the does it even matter? Coming down, this feeling I can't explain, again and again I complain, but sometimes I feel like this is what IT'S ALL ABOUT finding out who we really are, the feeling that someday we aren't going to be in our PERFECT sheltered world the thoughts they come from all directions with any warning, hitting us harder than ever we can do anything with these thoughts but think and THINK until we cant take it anymore I can't, I won't light up another bowl Current Mood: high (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
6:10 pm	Ran Away to the Top of the World Today i don't know nothing, i don't know a thing but if i just keep on listening, together we'll sing i've been walking for about a thousand years and my feet are tired of crying all those painful tears and my sight is going blind and my soul is way down low but i haven't seen a thing, so that's all i can know i said cause i don't know nothing, i don't know a thing but if we just keep on listening, together we'll sing i've been DRINKING to drown away my tears and i'm sick of all the violence and i'm sick of all the fears but i'm moving down the road, true i'm moving kind of slow but i haven't heard a thing, so that's all i can know said cause i don't know nothing, ya'll don't know a thing but if we just keep on listening, together we'll sing i don't think that it's going that good today i can't take my eyes off of the rain and everybody's running away well i don't think that it's going that good today can't take my eyes off of the rain and everybody's running away i ran away to the top of the world today i've been crying and losing lots of sleep cause the roads are getting longer winter snows come kinda deep but i still will move along and i still can feel the sun and i see or hear a thing and i'll break into a run said cause i don't know nothing, ya'll don't know a thing but if we just keep on listening, together we'll sing i don't think that it's going that good today i can't take my eyes off of the rain and everybody's going insane well i don't think that it's going that good today i can't take my eyes off of the rain everybody's running away i ran away to the top of the world today i ran away to the top of the world today ran away top of the world today Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: OAR (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 28th, 2002
7:52 pm	Drawn Out So the lines are lost on the smallest detail of the life that we tossed pushed out over the rail and the wounds run deep through the one man so bad he's fallen beneath the touch of your hand And it's all drawn out there's nothing inside and nothing to hold nothing to find its wearing me out this feeling inside I'm all drawn out And the promise we break it and the reasons we fake it bring us farther apart from the love that we make as the poisonous time leaves us gasping for air we run for the past but were already there And it's all drawn out there's nothing inside and nothing to hold nothing to find and its wearing me out this feeling inside and its all drawn out its all drawn out I'm all drawn out Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Switch foot (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 13th, 2002
11:10 pm	Her cigarette looks beautiful between her fingers like a silhouette is this for real she asks herself her reflection is starting to look transparent she’s lost what she’s been looking for and worst of all she’ll take the wrong turn again leading her into her never ending pathetic illusion that she could go on forever being like this hold up the walls one more hour she’ll never let them get her she can feel the spider crawl across her face she flinches into her other world and she loves it more than anything butterflies and pure happiness is what her fantasy world consists of smiling is getting old and her blank expression is looking blanker then its ever been she’s confusing her thoughts with her dreams how long can she hold onto this rope that is burning she can’t even feel it anymore she keeps holding on though what’s it gonna take to get her through another hour the rain beats on her the puddle drowns her sorrows she trips on the crack in the sidewalk and she loves it being alone doesn’t even hurt anymore her thoughts process minute by minute she can’t even comprehend them anymore she’ll lie down again and let this agonizing pain take her right through the floor she hears herself scream LETS JUST GET THIS OVER WITH why won’t anyone save this girl look at her would you just LOOK AT HER if you can’t feel her stand closer if your feeling to much then perfect her tricks have almost fooled everyone even herself but don’t think to hard you just might figure her out then this would be ruined she would be ruined she’ll never let you in she’ll never say goodbye this is what its come to her knees are weak her heart is disappearing and worst of all she’s okay with it all she steps outside into the morning to watch the cars go by and let the sun dry her eyes she can’t hear you, talk louder SAVE HER would you she folded up her fears and watched them float away and this poison that she calls pain shoots through her again and again her heart feels like its bleeding and again she can’t find that damn band aid that makes the pain stop and wait for another scar to form if she had one last wish it would be for someone to just tell her that IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: Hey Mercedes (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 3rd, 2002
6:59 pm	Underwater It’s in her head it’s in her mind she can’t believe it can’t believe she’s running out of time And any hold that she can find something to lean on everybody fails her half the time. Nothing to be she’s already been plenty of time Lights her candle six A.M. starting a new one every new one hit’s her just the same Just like clockwork she climbs down into her bottle no one down there cares to know her name She’s underwater nowhere now she’s underwater upside down the rising tide won’t find her now she’s lost and found now she’s upside down now she’s six feet down Underwater Current Mood: restless Current Music: Switchfoot (Comment on this)
Friday, August 30th, 2002
11:28 pm	i can't believe summers over I'll be up until tomorrow drinkin rum to drown my sorrows I just can't stop thinkin how it came to this Current Mood: drunk Current Music: long beach dub allstars (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 11th, 2002
11:32 pm	Moments You'll bruise their hearts. You'll live their lives. You'll fill their shoes. You'll still be right. You'll speak your words. You're still naïve. You'll tell your lies. They'll still believe. All you've ever said about them, it was never right. Has all you've learned here been forgotten? You're the perfect light? Don't strain your head, thinking for them. Don't place the blame. Your time will come. All you've ever thought about them, it was never right. Your open mind is sealed and settled, locked and bolted tight. All you've lived is moments in a fraction of their lives. It's sad you never notice when the stick is in your eye. You'll throw your stones. You'll never bleed. All you've ever said about them, it was never right. And all you've ever thought about them, it was never right. The bleeding hearts and artists painted meanings in their songs. And all the little children lost their minds and sang along. All that you said wasn't true. Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: juliana theory (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 16th, 2002
4:42 pm	Everlong And I wonder when I sing along with you if everything could ever feel this real forever if anything could ever be this good again the only thing I'll ever ask of you you've got to promise not to stop whn I say when breathe out so I can breathe you in hold you in and now I know you've always been out of your head out of my head I sang Current Mood: happy Current Music: Foo Fighters - right on anne :) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 2nd, 2002
1:48 pm	Roses from my friends I could have treated you better But you couldn't have treated me worse But it's he who laughs last Is he who cries first Sometimes I feel I know strangers Better than I know my friends Why must a beginning Be the means to an end The stones from my ennemies These wounds will mend But I cannot survive The roses from my friends When the last word has been spoken And we've beared witness to the final setting sun All that shall remains is a token Of what we've said and done When all we've had has been forsaken Distant church bells no longer ring That's the sound of a heart taken And the story of tears from a king The stones from my ennemies These wounds will mend But I cannot survive The roses from my friends This may be the last time I see you Forgive me for holding you close This may be the last time I see you So of this moment I will make the most This may be the last time I see you But if you keep me in your heart Together we shall be eternal If you believe we shall never part The stones from my ennemies These wounds will mend But I cannot survive The stones from my ennemies These wounds will mend But I cannot survive I cannot survive Oh I cannot survive The roses from my friends Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Ben Harper (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 29th, 2002
8:53 pm	Alone This empty room it fills my mind Freedom it leaves me confined Every single wall has cracked But in this life you can't turn back I don't want to live, I don't want to live alone As these words are with my tongue I question why they're even sung I have promised but I lied I don't even know myself inside I don't want to be, I don't wanna be here alone Today and tomorrow have become, Become one Every single thing has become none Human nature is a beast What I've done the most to show I have the least Please don't leave me here Please don't leave me here Don't you leave me alone Current Mood: curious Current Music: Ben harper (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
12:07 pm	Someone Else's Chapstick Inside your plastic head you make decisions Upon her lemon world they fall forever break the chains that tie you to the ground and bring you too knees shake the chains that tie you to the earth upon her willow hair the sun relaxes she's watched all tidal waves away from your disaster break the chains that tie you to the ground and bind you to your mother she will bind up your hands bind up your legs Bind up your heart and hold you down till you say your sorry she's been waiting for you forever Someone else's chapstick on your lips To hide your cheery lies you make excuses in between each lemon breath she smiles and swallows your abuses Shake the chains that tie you to the ground and bind you to your mother she will bind up your hands bind up your legs Bind up your heart and hold you down till you say your sorry she's been waiting for you forever now Someone else's chapstick on your lips Say your hungry she's lying for you forever now Someone put sorry in her hand Say your sorry she's been waiting waiting.. Inside your plastic head in between your laughter you drowned in memory storms that fall forever after she's someone else's lipstick now she's someone else's matchstick now she's someone else's chapstick now Current Mood: satisfied Current Music: Counting Crows (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 21st, 2002
8:54 am	I'm calling your name hoping for something to wash these dreams of you away Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Taking Back Sunday (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 16th, 2002
9:49 pm	melting away WHY things changed that should have stayed the same the abrupt past has swept us off our feet we'll drown together and contemplate of how this came to be you'll always be in my dreams a perfect illusion that will never shatter your mind is twisted upside down I'll stand next to you and hold your hand a ghost that whispers in your ear that's the role I'll take that on you'll ruine your future with the past one day your fantasy will come to an end reality will slap you in the face somethings you cant hide from your hole will get deeper it never stays one size you'll just keep digging and one day it'll burry you your unforgotten dreams they will slowly VANISH the new ones you create their just the undescribable reality that you seize to face I'll keep quiet you'll never know until you undo your mistakes LEARN what makes you be this way its not too late to change what you've become don't ever let your life PASS YOU BY find me when the dreams over and you've returned to reality and never forget just who YOU WERE if you don't believe me BELIEVE ME Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 7th, 2002
9:44 pm	It's funy where these dreams go...when the world gets in your way WHATS THE POINT in all this screaming? no ones listening anyway... Current Mood: confused Current Music: Something Coorperate (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 26th, 2002
12:45 pm	Constellation Some things can NEVER be explained why every sky still looks the same and I wonder how my world would look WITHOUT you some things can never be explained like how our scars remain the same and I wonder how the sky would look without my star sleep seems a dream away and a year too late words that can't be spoken stream off my face I want to be selfish you are my everything some things can never be explained why does your love remain unchanged cause I know it wouldn't be the same without you sleep seems a dream away and a year TOO LATE words that can't be spoken stream off your face please DON'T forget my name and take me with you when you leave I've got a lot to lose I've got to let it go PLEASE DON'T FORGET MY NAME... Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Juliana Theory (Comment on this)